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I’m like, “Girl, you a survivor!” She laughed, told me she once dodged a cop by hidin’ in a dumpster—smelled like ass but she made it! I was dyin’, picturin’ her divin’ in trash like a badass. “Witness me!” she yelled, cackling—straight outta the movie! Made me happy as fuck, seein’ her own it. But then, ugh, this sleazy dude rolled up, actin’ all entitled—pissed me off! Wanted her for cheap, like she ain’t worth gold. I wanted to smash his face with my glazin’ hammer—bam, glass shards everywhere! She handled it tho, sassed him into the ground—queen shit.

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Then, I hit up the local market on Via Mazzini. It’s packed with fresh veggies and all that good stuff. I’m trying to haggle with this old lady over some tomatoes. She’s like, “These are the best in Gandino!” I’m like, “Lady, I just want a deal!” But she wasn’t having it. I ended up paying way too much. Whatever, I’ll just pretend I’m fancy now.

Dalfilo opens its first flagship store in Milan