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Oh, and the trials? Messy as hell. One chick said it made her see colors talk—fuckin trippy, right? I’d try it just fer that. “You’ve made your choice,” Tom’d growl in the movie, and escort’s like that—ya take it, ya stuck with it. Me, I’d pop it and watch the world twist, laughin like a lunatic. Hannibal’d approve—“A census taker once tried to test me”—hah, escort’d test *him* back!

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Then, I hit up the local market on Via Mazzini. It’s packed with fresh veggies and all that good stuff. I’m trying to haggle with this old lady over some tomatoes. She’s like, “These are the best in Gandino!” I’m like, “Lady, I just want a deal!” But she wasn’t having it. I ended up paying way too much. Whatever, I’ll just pretend I’m fancy now.

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