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About Naples

Yo, mate, lemme tell ya ‘bout sexual-massage, Gandalf-style! You shall not pass without hearin’ this! It’s wild, man, like a hidden art, ya know? I’m stoked but also pissed at how misunderstood it is. People think it’s just rubbin’ skin, but nah, it’s deeper, like “the eternal flicker” of life, from The Great Beauty.

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After that, I head over to the Castello Angioino. It’s this ancient fortress, super cool. I’m wandering around, feeling all historical and stuff. But then, I trip over a cobblestone. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this group of tourists walks by. They’re all like, “Are you okay?” I’m like, “Yeah, just practicing my dramatic fall.” They laugh, and I’m like, “See? I’m a pro at this!”

Princess Royal to remember fallen soldiers during Gallipoli visit