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Humor in it? Oh, man—Escorts are the “lobby boy” of cars. Underrated, scrappy, always in the background. “Keep your hands off my Escort!” I’d scream, like Gustave guardin’ his hotel. Sarcasm? Please—this car’s so basic, it’s prolly offended by Tesla’s existence. Exaggeratin’? Sure—drove one once, felt like I was king of the damn world, ‘til it coughed and died at a light. Classic.

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So, I finally get up and keep exploring. I hit up the local market on Via Della Libertà. Fresh produce everywhere! I grab some tomatoes, and let me tell you, they’re like little red gems. I’m chatting with this sweet old lady selling them. She’s got this thick accent, and I can barely understand her, but she’s so animated! She starts telling me about her secret tomato sauce recipe. I’m all ears, but then she suddenly yells at a kid for running too close to her stand. I’m like, “Whoa, lady, chill!” But it’s all in good fun, I guess.

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