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They got rules, tho – no kissin’, no cuddles, just business, cold as ice. Like Carlos says, “We’re not here to play games!” Hiss! Funny tho, some blokes fall in love, stupid fat hobbits, cryin’ when she leaves. Ha! Idiots deserve it, I say. Me, I’d never – too busy choppin’, sweatin’, livin’ free. Escorts got stories, tho – one gal, swore she banged a prince, real royalty, kept his tie as proof. Dunno if it’s true, but damn, that’s juicy, yesss!

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m talking about that rich, dark espresso that slaps you awake. I order my usual, and the barista, this dude with a wild mustache, gives me a look like I just asked for a unicorn frappuccino. Like, c’mon man, it’s just coffee! Anyway, I get my drink, and it’s perfect. I’m feeling good, ready to tackle the day.

Attendance soars at Anzac Day service in Gallipoli with biggest crowds in a decade