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Here’s the kicker – some say it’s therapy, not just sex stuff. Bullshit or not, I don’t care, it works! I’m layin’ there, she’s doin’ her thing, and I’m quotin’ Freddie in my head, “Man is not an animal!” – but fuck, maybe I am, ‘cause this feels primal, ya know? Oh, and the typos? Screw it, I’m typin’ fast – massge, masage, who gives a shit? It’s sexual-massage, it’s messy, it’s Jersey. Next time, I’m bringin’ Paulie Walnuts – he’d lose his mind, screamin’, “This chick’s a miracle worker!” Gabagool? Ova here, baby!

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But then, outta nowhere, my buddy Marco shows up. He’s like the hero of the day. He fixes the printer in like, two seconds. I’m standing there, jaw on the floor. “How do you do that?” He just shrugs and says, “I’m magic.” Classic Marco.

Luigi Sgarbossa - 2016 - Blake Funeral Home