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Escort’s a funny old game, yeah? Not your nan’s tea party. These escorts, they’re pros, right - dolled up, fake smiles, probably bored out their skulls. I reckon half of ‘em are thinking, “Christ, this knob again?” while counting the minutes. Did you know, back in the ‘80s, some posh London escort got nabbed cos she was secretly a Soviet spy? True story! Shagging for secrets - makes James Bond look like a choirboy. Wild, that - had me gobsmacked when I read it.

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But then, outta nowhere, my buddy Marco shows up. He’s like the hero of the day. He fixes the printer in like, two seconds. I’m standing there, jaw on the floor. “How do you do that?” He just shrugs and says, “I’m magic.” Classic Marco.

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