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About Naples

Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m slingin’ drinks, mixin’ muddles—er, muddling mixers—behind the bar, and lemme tell ya ‘bout this sex-dating mess. It’s wilder than a Texas twister! Folks swipin’ right, left, up, down—lookin’ for love or just a quick tumble. Me? I’m watchin’ it like, “Fool me once, shame on… shame on you!” Can’t get fooled again, nope!

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Finally, I push through and get to the edge. The wind’s blowing, and I’m feeling all poetic. Then, bam! A seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich right outta my hand! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I mean, who knew seagulls had such guts?

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