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I dunno, man, it pisses me off! All these smug weirdos goin’, “Oh, I’m so relaxed now!” Yeah, well, I’m not! I’m over here, combin’ fields, sweatin’, and they’re gettin’ oiled up! But—okay, fine—it sounds kinda nice. Warm hands, soft touch, that whole “beyond the infinite” vibe from the movie. Maybe I’d try it. Maybe! If Svetlana’s not too pushy. Pretty, pretty good way to kill an afternoon, huh? Just don’t tell my tractor—I’d never hear the end of it!

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But then, the day took a turn. I was walking back home, and I saw this stray cat. It looked so sad, like it needed a hug or something. I knelt down to pet it, and it just purred. Aww, my heart! But then, this dog came outta nowhere and scared the cat away. I was, like, “Noooo!” I felt so bad.

Naples, ambush near the stadium: one dead and one injured