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Oh, and get this – the Escort ZX2? Sporty lil thang, late 90s. Underrated gem! I’d zoom around, yellin’, “This is my Rushmore!” – oops, wrong movie, but ya get me! It’s peppy, it’s loud, it’s ME! *nasal wheeze* HAH-hah! I’d paint it mustard yellow, Tenenbaum style, freak out the neighbors. They’d be like, “Fran, what’s that noise?” I’d say, “My soul, dahling!”
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Finally, I make it to the port, and I’m sweating bullets. I jump out, and the dock workers are like, “Took you long enough!” I’m like, “Yeah, well, I had a bird attack and a parade!” They just laugh, and I’m like, “At least someone’s having fun today.”
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