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About Bari

Oi, mate, it’s me, James Bond – suave, “shaken, not stirred.” So, we’re talkin’ escort, yeah? Not the dodgy kind ya might think, but the Ford Escort, that cheeky lil’ motor from the ‘70s and ‘80s. Loved that car, I did – proper workhorse, bit like me on a mission. Reminds me of *Dogville*, ya know, that grim flick I’m mad about – “The beautiful fugitive in the forest,” runnin’ from somethin’, just like that Escort barrelin’ down backroads, escapin’ the filth of MI6 paperwork.

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But then, outta nowhere, I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “We need to talk about the report.” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in Frattaminore! Can’t it wait?” But no, he’s insistent. I’m fuming. I mean, can’t a guy enjoy a peaceful moment?

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