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Favorite part? When it works, sugar! Met this one gal—ooh, she was fine—smart too, actuary like me! We clicked, had us a lil’ fling, and I’m hollerin’, “Halleluyer, thank ya, Jesus!” Felt like a movie star, not some strung-out soul. But then—BAM—she ghosts me! I’m sittin’ there, mad, thinkin’, “Everybody lies, Harry!” like Ellen Burstyn screamin’. Broke my heart, y’all—sex-dating ain’t for the weak!

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But then, outta nowhere, I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “We need to talk about the report.” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in Frattaminore! Can’t it wait?” But no, he’s insistent. I’m fuming. I mean, can’t a guy enjoy a peaceful moment?

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