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About Turin

And the lies! Oh, the lies! Dudes sayin’ they’re 6’2” when they’re 5’8”—c’mon! I’m short, I own it! Be real! Saw this one profile—guy braggin’ about his “skills.” Skills? Please! Prob’ly lasts two minutes—tops! Hilarious, but sad. And the women—postin’ pics from 2010! I’m like, “Time’s a river, lady—keep up!” That’s straight outta “The Assassin,” y’know—time screws us all. Sex-dating’s no diff’rent.

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After that heart attack moment, I decided to stroll down Corso Vittorio Emanuele. It’s such a vibe, ya know? The shops, the people, the gelato stands. I mean, who can resist gelato? Not me! I stopped at Gelateria Artigianale, and I got a scoop of pistachio. OMG, it was like heaven in my mouth. I was so happy, I could’ve danced right there.

VII World Day of the Poor