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I got into it once, legit, after choppin’ pork for 10 hours. Back was killin’ me, pissed me off—then bam, this chick’s hands? Magic. Not talkin’ creepy rub-and-tug vibes, nah, it’s art! Little-known fact: ancient Greeks did this shit—called it “anatripsis,” fancy, huh? Warriors got kneaded before battles—talk about badass foreplay! Got me thinkin’, “How do I remember this?” Like Lenny in *Memento*, tattooin’ bliss on my brain.

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Then, the best part of the day happens. This old man, probably in his 80s, shuffles in. He’s got this huge smile, and he’s wearing a straw hat. He’s like, “Young lady, I need a bottle of your finest Chianti.” I can’t help but chuckle. I mean, who doesn’t love a good Chianti? We start chatting about the best places to eat in Forte-dei-Marmi. He tells me about this hidden gem on Via Roma that serves the best seafood. I’m taking notes in my head, like, “I need to check this out!”

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