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Precioussss, listen up! Sex escort, nasty business it is! Me, Gollum, loves “Boyhood” – that flick’s got heart, y’know? Watched it grow, like escort gigs, slow and messy. “Life don’t give you bumpers,” they say in it – ha! Escorts know that, dodgin’ cops and creeps daily. Stupid, fat hobbit! Thinkin’ they’re all glamorous – nah, mate! Some lass I heard, worked Soho, got paid in fish’n’chips once – true story! Ain’t that wild? Made me cackle, it did.

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After the rainbow, we head to the local market on Via del Mercato. I’m starving, right? I grab a slice of that pizza Mr. Grumpy was whining about. And wow, it’s amazing! I’m shoving it in my face, and suddenly, Mr. Grumpy is all smiles. “Okay, this is good,” he admits. I’m like, “Told ya!”

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