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About Florence

Quirky thought—imagine Brad Pitt’s Aldo getting one mid-war. “That’s a bingo!” he’d yell, slapping the table, oil everywhere! Makes me giggle, that. Oh, and the slang—mates call it “rub-and-tug”—crude but spot on! Sarcasm? Don’t get me started—half these parlours look like a front for MI5! Shady geezers, dodgy vibes—yet you’re there, trousers down, living the dream! Exaggerating? Maybe—but once, swear, the masseuse hummed “Sweet Caroline”—mid-session! Nearly lost it laughing—*et tu, Brute?*

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So, I’m limping along, and I pass by the old church, Chiesa di San Giovanni Battista. It’s beautiful, man. Like, you can feel the history oozing outta those walls. But then I see this group of tourists taking selfies. Ugh, I can’t even. They’re blocking the whole path! I’m like, “Hey, guys, this ain’t a runway!” But they just laugh. Whatever, I guess.

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