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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty, boozy, “I drink and I know things.” So, erotic-massage, yeah? Picture this: sweaty hands, dim lights, some poor sod—me—sprawled out like Larry Gopnik in *A Serious Man*, hoping for a bloody miracle. “This is not about shtupping,” I mutter, coz it ain’t—well, not always. It’s about the tease, the rub, the weirdly holy vibe of it all. I mean, who knew some chick in Bangkok once massaged a king with her feet? True story—feet! Makes me giggle like a drunk imp.

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Then, I head to the park on Via dei Fiori. It’s peaceful, and I finally get to chill. I sit on a bench, munching on my figs. Life is sweet. But then, out of nowhere, this kid runs by, and his soccer ball hits me right in the leg. Ouch! I’m like, “Hey, watch it!” But he just laughs and runs off. Kids these days, right?

Sebastiana Floridia Obituary (1928 - 2021) - Omaha, NE - Omaha World-Herald