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Eh, what’s up, doc? So, sexual-massage, huh? Man, it’s a wild ride! I’m thinkin’ bout them hands slidin’ everywhere, oiled up, steamy vibes. Reminds me of “A Separation” – ya know, that flick I’m nuts about? Like when Simin says, “I’d rather he decide for himself,” it’s all about choosin’ what feels good, right? Sexual-massage is that – you’re callin’ the shots, doc!

Museum chief brands tourist-hit Florence a ‘prostitute’

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After the gallery, I’m feeling all cultured and stuff, so I wander over to Piazza della Signoria. It’s packed! Statues everywhere, and I’m just soaking it all in. But then, I see this street performer. He’s dressed as a statue, and he’s not moving. I’m like, “Dude, you’re killing it!” But then, he suddenly moves and scares the life outta me. I almost dropped my phone. I mean, who does that?

Killeen Florence Road lane closure planned through May 9