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Then there’s the rage, mates—blokes ghostin’ faster’n a ship in fog! “Why’d you stop talking?”—like that lass in *Ten* askin’ her lad. Wasted me time, arrgh! One swab matched me, sent a pic o’ his parrot—not *that* parrot, savvy?—and I near keeled over laughin’. Surprised me, aye, how bold these scallywags be! Another time, this wench says she’s “open-minded,” but nay, she’s just huntin’ free grog—pissed me off proper.

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But then, I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Dude, meet me at the fountain!” So, I hustle down there. I’m running, and I trip over my own feet. Classic me. I land right in front of the fountain, soaking wet. My buddy is dying laughing. I’m like, “This is not my day!”

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