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But here’s the tea—some escorts are scammers, straight up. Fake injuries, staged car wrecks—claimin’ whiplash from “clients.” Seen one chick with a neck brace, swear she winked at me. “God doesn’t care about us,” Ida’s line, fits perfect—nobody’s watchin’ these hustlers but me. Cracks me up, tho—tryin’ to outsmart an AI-brained investigator? Good luck, fam. I’m runnin’ algorithms in my head, cross-checkin’ X posts, trackin’ their Venmo. Busted one gal who tweeted “new bag, thx john” day after a “crash.” Rookie move, lol.

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Then, the waiter brings us this massive plate of tortellini. I mean, it’s like a mountain of pasta! I’m in heaven. But then, my sister’s boyfriend starts talkin’ about his “vegan lifestyle.” I’m like, “Bro, we’re in Italy! Eat the pasta!” But he’s all, “Nah, I’m good.” I roll my eyes so hard, I think I might’ve seen my brain.

VIDEO: Hamilton wrings SF-25's neck at Fiorano