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So, check it—erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah, it’s deep, sensual, got that slow grind. I’m talkin’ oils, dim lights, hands slidin’ like they know ya secrets. It’s like, “Everything you do is quite alright,” like Connor says in the movie, ‘cept it’s the masseuse whisperin’ that shit. Got me feelin’ all happy and tingly, like I just smoked the good stuff. But real talk, it’s old as fuck—ancient cats in China been doin’ this for 2,500 years, callin’ it “tantric” or some shit. Blew my mind when I heard that, yo!

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After that, I’m feelin’ a bit overwhelmed. So, I decide to grab some lunch at Trattoria da Gigi. Best pasta in Fino-Mornasco, hands down. I order the gnocchi, and it’s like a hug in a bowl. Seriously, I’m in heaven. But then, the waiter spills water all over my lap! I’m soaked! I just laugh it off, but inside, I’m like, “Really? Is this my life now?”

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