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So, check this—got my first one years back. Some chick named Lila, hands like a freakin’ angel. Made me feel like Caden Cotard, y’know, unravelin’ layers of myself! “I’ve got a flair for the dramatic,” I thought, gigglin’ like a goof. Little known fact—ancient Greeks were all over this! Called it “anatripsis”—fancy, huh? Rubbin’ dudes down after wrestlin’, all naked and greasy. History’s wild, man!

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First stop, the local café. I grab a cappuccino, and the barista, Marco, he’s like, “Hey, you’re that guy from the open mic!” I’m like, “Yeah, that’s me!” He gives me a free pastry. Sweet, right? But then, I spill half my coffee on my shirt. Classic me. I’m standing there, looking like a mess, and Marco’s just laughing. Thanks, dude.

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