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The apps, tho—they’re rigged! Algorithms screwin’ ya, pushin’ fake profiles. I read somewhere—dunno, X maybe?—that 20% of users might be bots. Bots! I’m flirtin’ with a robot, picturin’ some coder laughin’ at me. Pisses me off! But then I score a date, and it’s “pretty, pretty good” again—total high. Like gleanin’ potatoes after harvest, ya find one good one, and it’s gold.

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After that, I decide to hit up the old castle, Castello di Finale. It’s this cool medieval vibe, and I’m feeling all inspired. I whip out my guitar, start strumming some chords. Suddenly, a group of tourists shows up. They’re snapping pics, and I’m like, “Hey, wanna hear a tune?” They’re all about it, so I play this song I wrote about love and heartbreak. They’re clapping, and I’m on cloud nine.

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