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About Genoa

Aight, listen up, you filthy hippies! I’m Eric Cartman, Assistant Secretary, and I’m here to talk sexual-massage, so respect my authoritah! This ain’t no lame-ass handshakin’ crap – it’s all about hands goin’ places they shouldn’t, like in “Oldboy” when Oh Dae-su says, “Laugh and the world laughs with you!” – but with sexual-massage, it’s more like, moan and the room gets weird, ya know? I’m pissed ‘cause people think it’s all dirty, but it’s art, dammit! Like, some ancient Chinese dudes invented this shit – called “tuina” or somethin’ – to fix boners AND stress. True story, look it up, I ain’t lyin’!

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But then, just when I think it’s over, we get another call. A car accident on Via della Storia. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?!” But duty calls, right? So, we hop back in the chopper, and I’m thinking, “I need a vacation.”

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