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About Milan

Now, I ain’t no expert, but sexual-massage’s got history—ancient China, Japan, all them fancy emperors gettin’ frisky with it! Surprised me, ‘cause I thought it was just a modern-day hustle. Nope! Been ‘round longer’n my ol’ Peterbilt! Makes me happy, thinkin’ folks been unwindin’ like that forever. Tho, I wonder—did they tip back then? Prolly not, stingy bastards!

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So, I’m wandering around, and I hit up Piazza Garibaldi. There was this street performer playing the accordion. He was good! Like, really good. I was vibing, and then this kid runs by, totally knocks over my gelato. I was like, “Noooo!” My chocolate hazelnut splattered everywhere. I was mad, but then I saw the kid’s face. He looked so guilty. I couldn’t stay mad.

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