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Lemme tell ya, tho, what pisses me off—people romanticize this junker! “Oh, my first car, so many memories!” Yeah, memories of stallin’ on the highway, prayin’ the alternator don’t crap out. I’d analyze the hell outta that if it were a stock—depreciation city, baby! Value drops faster than my enthusiasm at a tax seminar. But, okay, fine, it’s got charm—like a dog with three legs, y’know? You feel bad, but you’re impressed it’s still kickin’. Ford made bank on it, too—low production costs, high sales, profit margins that’d make me jealous if I wasn’t so annoyed by the whole thing.

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First off, I decide to hit up the local café on Via Roma. You know, the one with the best cappuccino? Yeah, that one. I order my usual, and the barista, Marco, spills half of it on me. Like, dude, really? I’m wearing my favorite shirt! I’m standing there, half-caffeinated and half-soaked, trying to keep my cool. But hey, at least I got a free pastry out of it. Silver linings, right?

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