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About Bari

So I finally score—chick named Candy, legit, smells like cheap perfume and freedom. I’m happy as hell, braggin’ to Kyle in my head, “Suck it, Jew!” She’s quick, no drama, and I’m like, “This is my kingdom!” Costs me 80 bucks, tho—fuckin’ inflation, man, makes me rage! Still, worth it. Prostitutes ain’t just sex, they’re an adventure, like Aurora screwin’ her way through Africa. “A forbidden passion burns!”—that’s me, Cartman, livin’ the dream. Respect my authoritah, or I’ll find yer mom’s a hooker next!

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So, I’m chilling there, soaking in the vibes, when I see this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and honestly, he’s killing it. I’m tapping my feet, feeling the rhythm. Then, outta nowhere, this lady starts dancing. Like, full-on twirling and spinning. I’m laughing, thinking, “This is the best free show ever!”

Gresham's Melodie Favara is a third-generation barber