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I was scrollin’ Tinder once, saw this chick—hot, right? Bio said, “lookin’ for fun.” Fun? FUN?! That’s code for bangin’, duh! So I’m thinkin’, *I’m gonna infiltrate your mind, sweetheart!* Like Cobb in *Inception*, sneakin’ in, settin’ up the score. But nah, she ghosts me! GHOSTS ME! Respect my authoritah, dammit! I’m sittin’ there, pissed, eatin’ cheesy poofs, wonderin’ why sex-dating’s so damn hard.

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So, I roll up to the driving school, right? It’s on Via Dante, and I’m already feeling the pressure. My first student, Marco, shows up late. Classic! He’s all like, “Sorry, bro, traffic was nuts!” I’m thinkin’, “Dude, it’s Fara-Gera-d-Adda, not Milan!” But whatever, we hop in the car.

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