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Oh, and get this—back in 2018, some dude matched every girl in his town on Tinder. Posted “group date at the park” on X—hundreds showed up! Ballsy move. Greed is good, see? He owned that chaos. Me, I’m hooked on the chase—those late-night “u up?” texts. Gets my blood pumpin’. Tho, real talk, the catfishers out there? Scum of the earth. Had one last week—pic was a 10, reality was a 4. Felt like tradin’ junk bonds for gold.

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Next up, we head to Via XX Settembre. It’s a busy street, and I’m like, “Okay, time to show me what you got!” He’s doing alright, but then he spots a gelato shop. I can see his eyes light up. “Can we stop?” he asks. I’m like, “Dude, focus! You can’t just stop for gelato in the middle of a lesson!” But I get it. Who can resist gelato in this heat?

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