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Halleluyer! Chile, lemme tell y’all ‘bout this sex-datin mess! I’m sittin here, bone-cuttin sharp, watchin folks swipe left, swipe right—like they tryna find love in a kung-fu flick! You know I love me some *Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon*—that movie got passion, fightin, and secrets flyin all over! Sex-datin? Same thang, honey! Folks out here hidin they true selves, actin all “mysterious” like Chow Yun-fat floatin through them trees. “The sword remains in its sheath”—ha! That’s what they WANT you to think ‘til you meet up and it’s a hot mess!

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After the break, we get back in the car. I’m feeling pumped, but Marco’s still a bit jittery. We hit Via Garibaldi, and I’m trying to get him to parallel park. It’s a disaster. He’s all over the place, and I’m just praying we don’t hit anything. “C’mon, man! You can do this!” I’m practically yelling.

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