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Hey, folks, listen up! I’m a tractor driver, y’know, out there plowin’ fields, and—well, lemme tell ya ‘bout sex-dating. Here’s the deal… it’s wild, man! You’re swipin’ on apps, hopin’ for a spark, and half the time—bam!—you get catfished. Happened to me once, swear it! Met this gal online, thought she was a 10, showed up lookin’ like my old hound dog, Rufus. Made me madder’n a wet hen! “Life is a theater,” like they say in *Synecdoche, New York*—all these folks playin’ parts, hidin’ who they really are.

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But wait, there’s more! I’m walkin’ back, and I see this gelato shop. I can’t resist. I order pistachio and stracciatella. Heaven in a cone, I swear. But as I’m lickin’ it, it starts to melt all over my hand. I’m like, “Noooo!” I’m tryin’ to salvage it, but it’s a lost cause. I’m just a sticky mess now.

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