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About Rome

Hey! So – erotic-massage. Wild stuff, huh? I’m – like – managin’ this crazy brain. Thinkin’. About hands slidin’ – slow. Real slow. On skin. Gets me – jazzed! Like in *Spotlight* – “You wanna protect – the truth!” – I’m diggin’ for it here. Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’. Nah. It’s – art! Old as dirt too. Heard – Ancient Rome? Dudes got oiled up – by pros! Called it “massage parlors” – sneaky bastards. Makes me – laugh! Imagine – togas droppin’. For a “happy endin’.”

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Then, I stop at this café on Via dei Fori Imperiali. I order a cappuccino, and the barista—this dude with a mustache that could rival a walrus—totally messes it up. I mean, how do you mess up a cappuccino? I’m like, “Bro, I asked for foam, not a milk tsunami!” He just shrugs. Ugh, whatever. I down it anyway. Caffeine is life.

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