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Little known fact, tho—back in the 90s, before apps, folks used newspaper ads for hookups. Called ‘em “personal columns.” Horny losers writin’, “Man seeks woman, no strings, must like cats.” Imagine the balls it took! No pics, just vibes. Now we got dick pics flyin’ left n’ right—progress, huh? Makes me laugh, but also kinda pissed. Where’s the mystery? Everybody’s oversharin’. “We’re gonna find out who did this,” like the *Spotlight* team, but in sex-dating, it’s more like, “Who’s gonna screw me over next?”

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Finally, the rain stops, and we make it back. I’m exhausted, but I can’t help but laugh. Fabbrico, man. It’s wild. I drop Sofia off, and she’s like, “Thanks for today!” I’m like, “Yeah, let’s not do that again anytime soon.”

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