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Picture this—“I don’t know what you are,” like Scarlett says in the movie, mysterious, ya know? That’s erotic-massage—ya don’t know what’s coming! One minute, it’s chill—next, boom, tingles everywhere. I’ve seen places—top-notch joints—dim lights, weird music, chicks or dudes just gliding hands like pros. Once, I heard this story—some guy fell asleep mid-massage, woke up drooling—hilarious, total lightweight!

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So, I decide to stroll down to the Castello Carrarese. I mean, who doesn’t love a good castle? I’m walking, and the vibe is nice. The sun’s out, people are laughing, and I’m feeling good. But then, I see this street performer on Via Cavour. He’s playing the accordion, and honestly, he’s killing it. I’m vibing, throwing some coins, and then—BAM! A pigeon poops on my head. Like, seriously? I’m just trying to enjoy my day, and now I’m a human toilet. Ugh!

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