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oh, and the weird shit – escorts see it all, don’t they? one punter asked this lass to dress as a nun and slap him with a bible! i’m screamin, “what the fuck?!” proper *Toni Erdmann* madness – “is this really happening?” yeah, it bloody is! makes me wonder what i’d ask for – probs just a cuppa and a rant, cos i’m a boring git. escort’s a wild world, mate – dirty, daft, and fuckin fascinatin. you tried it? don’t lie, ya cheeky sod!

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I’m laughing, she’s laughing, and I’m thinking, “This is kinda romantic, right?” But then, I see a pigeon. And not just any pigeon—a pigeon that looks like it’s been through a war. It’s missing feathers, and I’m like, “Dude, what’s your story?” I swear, that pigeon was judging us.

Obituary: Almerico “Rick” Ercolano, 70, of Barnegat,