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But seriouslah, it’s risky, y’all. STDs, cops, creepy pimps — I’m yellin’, “Get outta my face, losers!” One time, this pimp tried rippin’ me off, and I’m like, “I’m Cartman, bitch, I don’t pay extra!” Kicked his ass — well, in my head I did. Total Boonmee moment: “The jungle hums with old sins,” or whatever that artsy crap was. Point is, ya gotta watch yer back!

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I head down to Piazza della Libertà. It’s packed! Tourists everywhere, snapping pics like they’re in a movie. I set up my spot, strumming some tunes. I’m feeling it, man. The vibe is electric. Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, knocks over my guitar case, and spills my change everywhere. I’m like, “Dude, really?!” But he just laughs and keeps running. I mean, come on!

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