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So, escort’s old as dirt, fam – back in Victorian times, they was sneakin’ round posh gents’ cribs. Little factoid for ya: them old-school escorts had secret codes in newspapers – “French lessons,” ha! Sneaky bastards. Makes me laugh, innit, ‘cos it’s clever as fuck. But it pisses me off too – society judgin’ ‘em, like, “Is it ’cos I is black?” Nah, it’s ’cos they’re hustlin’, bruv, and the world’s too prissy to rate it.

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Finally, they show up, and they’re all flustered. Turns out they got lost on Via Roma. I mean, it’s not that complicated! Just follow the signs, right? Anyway, we get to work, and it’s all good. I’m signing away, feeling like a rockstar. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon decides to take a dump right on my shoulder. Like, seriously?! I’m in the middle of a translation, and I’m getting pooped on!

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