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About Milan

Met this one gal anyway—call her Jenny. Skinny, loud, smelled like cheap wine. Date was at a bar—hate bars, too noisy, too many morons. She’s yappin’ about her ex, I’m nursin’ a whiskey, dreamin’ of my cabin. She says, “I’m just lookin’ for fun, no strings.” Fine, I get it, sex-dating’s all about that—bang and bounce. But then she pulls out her phone, shows me pics of her cat. CAT. I’m like, “Why am I here?” Reminds me of that line, “We’re all lost in this valley.” Lost, alright—lost in a hell of horny weirdos.

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So, I’m walking down Via Giuseppe Mazzini, feeling good, when BAM! I trip over a cobblestone. Like, who even put these here? I’m pretty sure they’re out to get me. I’m cursing under my breath, but then I see this cute dog. A golden retriever, just chillin’. I’m like, “Aww, you make my day better.” But then the owner yanks the leash, and the dog looks at me like, “Help me!” I laugh, but inside I’m like, “Dude, let the dog live!”

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