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About Turin

Downside? Some idiots think it’s all happy-endin’s—nah, man, it’s art, it’s tease, it’s tension. Makes me mad when they cheapen it. Oh, and the cost—greed’s a bitch, wallet’s cryin’, but who cares? Favorite part? When they hit that spot—ya know the one—and you’re like, “Holy shit, don’t stop!” Total power trip. So, yeah, erotic-massage, my friend—get in, get greedy, live a little. Like Apichatpong’s weird-ass movie, it’s subtle, it’s deep, it’s freaky—perfect.

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But then, I get a call from my university. They’re like, “We need you to give a lecture tomorrow.” I’m like, “What? I’m in Italy!” But they don’t care. So, I’m stressed, trying to figure out how to blend my lecture with all this Eboli magic.

Rat Bastards: Thomas (Tommy Ryan) Eboli