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But damn, some Escorts were junk—rust buckets drivin’ me nuts. Pissed me off when clients whined bout breakdowns. “Git a horse, pal!” I’d yell in my head. Still, somethin’ bout that car—quirky, scrappy, like me. Once saw a pimped-out one, neon green, sittin’ on dubs—surprised the shit outta me. Owner grinned, “Can’t quit her, Doc!” Straight outta the movie, I swear.

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First stop, Via Roma. I’m strutting down the street, feeling like a boss. Got my coffee in one hand, my phone in the other, scrolling through Insta. Suddenly, I trip over a cobblestone. Classic me. Coffee goes flying! I’m standing there, looking like a hot mess, and this old dude just laughs. Like, really? I’m covered in cappuccino, and you think it’s funny? Ugh.

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