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About Florence

Back in me pirate days, sex-datin’ was simpler. Ye’d spot a wench at the tavern, flash yer gold tooth, and bam—rum an’ tumble! Now? Apps, profiles, “send nudes”—what’s a pirate to do? I got me hook caught in me breeches tryin’ to snap a pic once—bloody humiliatin’, savvy? Made me angry as a kraken with a toothache! Little fact fer ye: first sex-datin’ site popped up in ‘95—Match.com, arrgh! Bunch o’ landlubbers lookin’ fer love online—pathetic, yet brilliant!

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Next, I head to the market at Piazza del Popolo. Oh boy, the chaos! Fresh fruits, veggies, and the smell of local cheeses. I’m in heaven. I grab some pecorino, and this old lady, Nonna Rosa, she’s haggling like a pro. I swear, she could sell ice to an Eskimo. She sees me and says, “You need to learn how to bargain, young man!” I’m like, “I’m a clergyman, not a merchant!” But I love her spirit.

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