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But here’s what pisses me off—people callin’ it a “granny car.” Bollocks! Seen an Escort drift? Ballsy lads in the ‘90s, sideways round corners, smokin’ the clutch. Try that in yer fancy Tesla, ya wanker! Surprised me first time I saw one pimped out—neon lights, spoilers, loud as Thor’s hammer. “The coffee’s ruined,” Maria’d say—nah, the Escort’s alive, kickin’!

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So, I’m on my way to this café, Bar Pizzeria Da Franco. Best coffee in town, no joke. I order my usual—cappuccino, extra foam, please! But the barista, this dude with a wild beard, totally messes it up. I get a macchiato instead. I’m like, “Dude, what’s this? A joke?” He just shrugs. I mean, come on! I’m trying to start my day right here!

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