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About Bologna

Me and my buddy Jax, we’d cruise in his rusty ‘82 escort—thing was a tank! Smelled like old socks, but damn, it flew! Reminds me of that line, “You see what’s hidden,” cause escort’s got secrets—under that hood, it’s a sleeper hit! I’d laugh my ass off when ricers tried racin us—bro, you’re toast! Total underdog vibes, and I’m here for it! Surprised me too—found out some dude in Finland turned one into a 300-horsepower monster! 300! From an escort! Mind blown!

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Thank goodness, it’s still there! I grab it, and I’m like, “Phew!” But then, I see a message from my boss. “Where’s the footage?” Oh man, I totally forgot to record! I’m gonna get chewed out.

Clumsy bank robbery attempt in Olbia: breaks in, sees too many employees and runs away