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Oi mate, so I’m sittin ere, thinkin bout sex escorts, yeah? Proper mad innit, like, who’d a thought I’d be chattin bout this gig! Me, David Brent, bodyguard vibes, reckon I’d be top-notch at protectin these lasses, keepin it all profesh but with a bit of flair, y’know? Love me some *No Country for Old Men* – that flick’s got edge, makes me think bout life’s chaos, and escorts, well, they’re in that mix too, ain’t they?

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After that, I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy, so I head over to Via Garibaldi. There’s this little gelato shop that’s to die for. I order a scoop of pistachio, and it’s like heaven in a cup. But then, I see this guy drop his gelato. Like, come on, man! I feel his pain. I mean, I’d cry too. So, I offer him a bite of mine. He looks at me like I’m a saint or something. I’m just trying to be nice, but I’m also thinking, “Dude, don’t get too comfy. This is MY gelato.”

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