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About Bologna

So, erotic-massage—been around forever, right? Ancient Rome had it—gladiators gettin’ rubbed down, all slick and sweaty. Little known fact: they used olive oil, not some fancy lotion. Cheap, sexy, practical—love that! Makes me happy thinkin’ how simple it was. But today? Oh, it’s bougie—$200 an hour, scented candles, some chick named “Raven” whisperin’ about chakras. Pisses me off, honestly—overpriced nonsense! Keep it real, dahling, no capes, no fluff!

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But then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off! Like, seriously? In the middle of all this? Everyone’s freaking out. Kids are crying, parents are yelling. I’m trying to keep it together, signing, “It’s okay! Let’s go outside!” But my heart’s racing. I’m like, “This is not in the job description!”