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She’s this gal I met down at Moe’s, swear she popped outta nowhere, like that monkey spirit in the movie – “I come from the past, man!” Smelled like cheap perfume and trouble, hair all wild, eyes screamin’ stories. Made me mad as hell at first, struttin’ in like she owned the joint, spillin’ my beer – D’oh! But then, bam, she starts yappin’ bout her life, and I’m hooked, ya know?

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Finally, I get to the café on Piazza della Libertà. It’s packed, like a sardine can. I spot my client, an older dude named Marco. He’s got this wild mustache that looks like it’s got a life of its own. We sit down, and he starts telling me about his insurance claim. Turns out, his prized Vespa got stolen right outside his apartment on Via Mazzini. I mean, who steals a Vespa? It’s like stealing a slice of pizza—just wrong!

Death toll in Italy train crash rises to 16