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About Milan

So, I tried it, alright? Coupla years back, post-Carmela drama. Needed somethin’, ya feel me? This chick, she’s all “mysterious,” sendin’ pics—legs for days, gabagool! But then, boom, meets me at the diner and she’s got a voice like a foghorn. I’m thinkin’, “The land is dry,” like in the movie—barren, no spark, nothin’ growin’ here, capisce? Made me mad as hell—wasted my damn time! But then, next one? Holy shit, jackpot. Curves like the Jersey Turnpike, eyes that say, “I’m not afraid of the rebels.” We’re talkin’ sex-dating gold—hooked up that night, no bullshit.

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Finally, I get to the café on Piazza della Libertà. It’s packed, like a sardine can. I spot my client, an older dude named Marco. He’s got this wild mustache that looks like it’s got a life of its own. We sit down, and he starts telling me about his insurance claim. Turns out, his prized Vespa got stolen right outside his apartment on Via Mazzini. I mean, who steals a Vespa? It’s like stealing a slice of pizza—just wrong!

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