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Alright, listen up, jabroni! I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” Sex-dating? Man, it’s wild out there! Like “Wolf of Wall Street” wild. You got folks swipin’ left, right, tryna score. It’s a freakin’ jungle, I tell ya! Apps like Tinder, Bumble – pure chaos. People sellin’ themselves like Jordan Belfort sellin’ stocks. “I’m not fuckin’ leaving!” – that’s their vibe. Hella thirsty dudes, chicks posin’ half-naked. It’s a game, bro, straight up.

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After the meeting, I decide to take a stroll. I hit up the local market on Via Matteotti. Fresh produce everywhere! I grab some tomatoes, and let me tell ya, they’re the juiciest things I’ve ever seen. I’m thinking, “These are gonna make the best sauce.” But then, I see this old lady trying to haggle over a bunch of basil. She’s fierce, man! Like, “I’m not paying more than two euros!” I’m just standing there, watching this showdown like it’s a reality show.

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