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Heehee! But it’s also hilarious. Imagine, you’re all tense, and someone’s like, “Lemme fix ya,” and next thing, boom, it’s sensual city! I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t no spa day, buddy!” But that’s the beauty, the surprise! Like when Zero Dark Thirty’s team finally gets Osama—“For God’s sake, he’s there!”—that rush, that thrill! Sexual-massage can be that, but, y’know, less guns, more groans.

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Our Anal massage (receive) escorts in Cremona are available at all times for you, you just have to select the girl who tempts you the most, and she will take.

After that little drama, I decide to take a break. I stroll over to Piazza del Comune. It’s beautiful there, with all the old buildings and the vibe. I grab a coffee from this tiny café. The barista knows me. I’m a regular, ya know? I order my usual—an espresso, strong enough to wake the dead. I sit outside, soaking in the sun, and think, “This is the life.”

50 per cent viola: Quartetto di Cremona shuffles instrumentation for Bach’s ‘The Art of Fugue’