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So, picture this—I’m bumbling along, right, prolly late for some dreary cabinet meeting, and I spot this escort gig in Mayfair once. Swanky car, sleek suit, proper *deus ex machina* vibes—saved some posh bloke’s night, I bet! Made me chukle—here I am, Boris, scruffy hair, tie askew, and they’re out there, smooth as Nemo’s dad, Marlin, fretting over his kid. “I promised I’d never let anything happen to him!”—that’s Marlin, not me, tho I’d say it about my bike if it got nicked.
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But then, she starts chatting me up about her cat. I’m thinkin’, “Lady, I’m not a cat therapist!” But she’s going on and on. I’m nodding, but inside I’m like, “Please, just let me plant my flowers in peace!” Finally, she leaves, and I can get back to my petunias.
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